


His kindness, a curse

by Frehior



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-07
Updated: 2018-05-07
Packaged: 2019-05-03 12:20:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,233
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14568885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frehior/pseuds/Frehior
Summary: Lavi thinks that Allen Walker is stupid. Well, not really. But after the first mission he shared with the boy, it’s hard for him to accept the boy’s lack of self-preservation when it comes to others that are not him. One thing he’s sure: Allen would face upcoming trials that would greatly pain him, and his naivety wouldn’t help his case./Set after episode 15 in the anime.





	His kindness, a curse

Allen Walker was far too nice, Lavi had decided. He was too naïve, too kind. He knew one day, all that good-will would hurt him. It’d backfire on him, and it’d create a conflict inside him to the point he wouldn’t know who to trust. Lavi was sure of that.

 

The reason for his behavior was, probably, the cursed eye he had been given. If he didn’t have it, his personality might have turned to something less kind. But as it was, as long as Allen had his eye, he could tell apart from good and bad. At least when it came to akumas. Humas were never black and white, they bled gray in some aspects in their lives. And Lavi worried Allen would be taken advantage of because of his willingness to help people.

 

Alas, he had witnessed that naivety of his on this mission. He had heard the young boy utter foolish words. Leave him behind in order to take father and daughter to a safer place? Honestly, Allen should have some shame, claiming things like that. He was no superhuman. Yes, his body might be enhanced thanks to his Parasitic Innocence, but by no means could he withstand the attacks of nature and three level two akumas. Maybe he had a death wish, but Lavi wasn’t ready to make it true for him. He silently thanked Yu for coming to save them in the last second, otherwise he would have never heard the end of it when the Old Panda got ear that he had let _The Destroyer of Time_  die. He was one of the main reasons they had come to the Black Order, after all.

 

“What do you think of him?” Bookman asked, and decided to clarify for good, “Allen Walker.”

 

“I still don’t know.” Lavi replied truthfully.

 

Yes, he had decided the boy was still young, and had yet to see all the despair the world had to offer. But, if once he’s met that, he keeps that desire to protect others and keep his path, perhaps his opinion would solidify. He’d just have to wait and see what awaited Allen Walker, and what path would he chose to walk.

 

“But I feel Allen’s battle will be really painful… From now on…” He sat back on his seat, and silently admired his work over Allen’s face.

 

It was a nice way to pass the time, draw over his teammate’s face as they slept. Although he didn’t dare try that with Kanda yet. He appreciated his hands too much. So from now on, he’d settle for braiding his hair whenever possible, and keep on doodling silly things over other’s faces.

 

“ _The Destroyer of Time_ …”

 

Lavi capped his marker and slipped it inside his pocket.

 

“Well, if he’s going to be what it’s been told, I guess he should learn to take care of himself first.” Then, grinning wide and with a mocking tone, he added, “He’ll die shortly if he keeps throwing himself at problems just to save someone.”

 

“He’s still young, Lavi.” Bookman replied, and Lavi shrugged.

 

“He’ll die young, then. Life doesn’t take pity on the good-willed. You know that.”

 

Bookman tipped his chin down, closed his eyes and made a humming noise, before calmly answering him. “Don’t think too high of yourself, idiot. You were once like that.”

 

“And I learned quick, did I not? That’s how I’ve lasted this far.” His voice turned bitter, memories coming back to his mind. Memories he’d rather forget if possible, although that seemed an impossible task. So he simply ignored them for his sake. “People are foolish, and weak. Their hearts are so easy to corrupt. A broken heart, a broken mind.” He huffed, and crossed his arms. “… It’ll be a pain to partake in this upcoming task. To make matters worse, I’ll have to risk myself.”

 

“We’re compatible with the Innocence. It’d be a waste to just stand idly and not do something. Think of it as a way to repay the Order. They allow us to see the history that’ll unfold from a particular point, and we take care of a few akumas. It’s not a high prize to pay.”

 

Lavi furrowed his nose, and gave a slight pout. “You say that because you didn’t fight three level two akumas, Old Panda.”

 

After time passed, Bookman’s silence stretched, and Lavi squinted his eye at him. He received no answer, and he let out a frustrated sound before letting his head fall back against the seat. Taking a deep breath, he tried to calm himself, bring back the silence and order in his mind and body. No need to throw a small tantrum over the Old Panda’s silence.

 

Looking outside the window, Lavi silently thought that he wouldn’t put himself in the line of fire. He was there for a reason entirely different from fighting Akumas and saving the damned souls. If that was something that had to be done in order to do his real job, he would do so. But he wasn’t a pushover, and it wasn’t like meeting Allen Walker would change that. If the short white-haired boy wanted to disregard his complete self, so be it. Lavi wasn’t there to make reckless actions. He couldn’t. If something where to happen to him… what’d be of the Old Panda? There was already so much Lavi knew of history itself. So much that’d go to waste if he risked his life just because. Finding another Bookman sounded like a waste of time.

 

And yet… To record history, they’d have to muddle with affairs Lavi wasn’t too comfortable with yet.

 

_Lavi._

 

His current alias. His name. His persona. It was a mask he’d have to wear until this affair of history fell to an end. Just like any other mask he had worn in the past. Faking a personality, he had come to understand, wasn’t that hard when you had no emotional attachment to no one. You were a clean slate, and whatever you painted on it, it was what people would see.

 

Having no real attachments to others meant you wouldn’t get hurt once you had to leave them behind. And in this line of work, as an exorcist, it meant that if someone died, there was no burden holding you back, no regrets. Lavi had it clear in his mind. Each of them would fend off for themselves. And only if he deemed it appropriate and that it wouldn’t put his life at risk, he’d put himself in front of others to protect them. But that was it. He’d play his role as long as he had to.

 

He couldn’t risk his part as a Bookman for others. He couldn’t allow himself to grow attached to his future comrades. For his own sake, he couldn’t.

 

His eye wandered towards the white-haired boy, and he huffed. Allen Walker, The Destroyer of Time, would go through so much, Lavi was sure of it, and he might have to stick around to see him go through it. The mere thought made him feel uneasy. The young boy smelt like problems, no matter how much Lavi wanted to think otherwise. Someone like him either died too soon, or lived long enough to wish to be so.

 

Lavi sincerely hopped for the boy to toughen up quickly so he could spare himself the future pain he’d be faced with.

**Author's Note:**

> This had been sitting there for some time now. It was the only D. Gray-man related work I had that had some shape to it (had to polish it a bit, but I think it's good).
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed it :).


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